Do you want to be the person who lights up the room upon entry? The one that everyone talks about and can’t wait to be around? The one that everyone turns to at work for advice and information? It’s not as difficult as you might think. Almost all likable, irresistible people share a few of the same traits — and building these traits is more than possible.
1. Presence: “He’s a Natural Born Leader.”
From entrepreneurs to political leaders, having a commanding presence is key. But how do you develop a commanding presence if you don’t have it? As social animals, humans constantly scan the room looking for a “leader.” People rank everyone in the room and look towards the one who appears to be the most commanding. One way that you can shape this yourself is by adopting power poses. Power poses improve your own self-confidence, but they also send a message to others: I’m in charge.
2. Optimism: “She’s Always So Positive.”
It can be tempting to grumble and gripe, but this doesn’t inspire confidence and it certainly doesn’t built likability. After all, if you’re so miserable in your own life, why should anyone trust you? People like optimism; they like to see someone energetic, passionate and positive. They want someone who makes them feel good about themselves and who appears to be someone they want to be. But developing positive leadership skills can be hard and it begins from within. You need to feel positive about yourself before you can feel positive about others.
3. Curiosity: “He’s Just So Innovative.”
The most amazing people, whether they be thought leaders, inventors or financial gurus, are always learning and always innovating. Curiosity is inspirational, and drives innovation in others. Being naturally curious about the world is an excellent way to develop new ideas and think outside of the box, all of which are positive traits that will get you noticed — and followed.
4. Interest: “She Makes Me Feel Important.”
Have you ever met someone who looked you dead in the eye, shook your hand and remembered your name? Didn’t it make you feel special? And haven’t you always wondered how some people seem to remember the minutia of your life even if you only met them for a few minutes? These people have a genuine interest in others. And when someone has an interest in you, you feel special. And when someone makes you feel special, you like them more. Of course, not everyone can have a genuine interest in everyone else and for that, there are memory tricks.
5. Honesty: “He’s a Real Straight Shooter.”
People appreciate honesty. Perhaps not bluntness or rudeness, but definitely honesty. Too often, people try to achieve leadership by telling everyone what they want to hear. But that’s a fool’s game; eventually the cards will all come crashing down. The only way to really inspire confidence in your leadership tactics is through being transparent and honest.
6. Confidence: “She’s So Sure of Herself.”
It doesn’t really need to be explained why confidence is an incredibly likable character trait. But what can be frustrating about confidence is how difficult it is to build. The important thing to remember about confidence is that you can fake it ’til you make it. By acting confident you will see more positive results in your social and work interactions and once you receive positive results, you’ll become more confident! It’s that simple.
7. Consistency: “He Always Gets the Job Done.”
Being inconsistent, confusing or irrational is a surefire way to get people to distrust you. Everyone craves consistency because consistency means stability. No one wants to be guessing what you’re going to do when they come to you with a problem or a query. But building consistency can be really hard — on par with trying to build motivation. Consistency needs to be developed from within first, until you have developed positive habits.
8. Physicality: “She’s Extremely Compassionate.”
We are physical animals. We communicate quite a lot through body language and gestures. Have you ever had someone saying all the right words to you, but felt as though they were being insincere? It was probably their body language. If you want to be seen as empathetic and compassionate, you need to learn how to use your body language. For some people it is as natural as breathing. For others, you instead need to use conscious techniques such as mirroring.
9. Drive: “He’s So Passionate About What He Does.”
Passion, like creativity, is inspirational. If you really, truly believe in what you do, then others will begin to believe it too. And it really doesn’t need to be passion about your work, though that certainly helps. If you’re passionate about anything at all, that will reveal a likable, interesting and lively side of yourself that others will be drawn to. Sometimes finding your passion is all you need to do to make everything in your life fall into place.
10. Openness: “She Really Connects With Me.”
Sharing something of yourself is an excellent way to create a bond. Whether it’s sharing a small secret or just talking about your daily life, opening yourself up to someone makes them feel as though they are worth being opened up to. Don’t just listen — though listening is important. Really connect by aligning yourself with people and sharing relevant information about yourself. You may even find that it helps you in ways you wouldn’t have expected.
Remember: as admirable a goal as it is, you can’t really be liked by everyone all the time. It’s just not possible. But if you like yourself and if you like your life, you’ll find that people will naturally be drawn to you.